Suffocated at home.

As Singapore is facing the rapidly increasing graying population, intergenerational co-residence has become common in most homes. This is seen as a form of filial piety especially in Chinese homes. However, is all that well?

Every evenings on my way home, I would always be greeted by a friendly, warm smile of a white-haired grandmother of one, who seemed to be enjoying the company of her three-year old grandson. They were once my neighbours. They lived in a four-room condominium in Bishan, with no domestic helper. Her daughter would come home from work, expecting her son to be well-fed, every corners of the house to be clean and dinner to be ready on the table for the family once she got home.

She chose to stay with her daughter's family, leaving her husband alone in their three-room flat at Queenstown. Besides taking care of her daughter's home, she had no other responsibility. Her daughter was her sole support, financially and emotionally. However, things may not always turn out as expected even if you have been gaining wisdom and experience throughout your life.

Being her sole provider, she felt that she had "control" over her mom, she often yelled at her mom if her son was crying from hunger in the middle of the night, or if her mom had accidentally misplaced her favourite dress. Her mum was not respected, she was in fact treated worse than a domestic helper. She seldom had a decent, quiet dinner.

Yet she kept mum about all that happened, as she felt that it was wrong to wash dirty linen in public. No one knew about her plight until recently when she took the plunge from the highest storey on our condominium. That was when we last saw her daughter's family.

Now I realise how the phrase "Driving someone to her grave" came about. So much for Asian values.

Imagine if you were the husband having to bear with all the disrespect to an elderly person, how would you resolve the conflict?

The power of communication

How one communicates strongly reflects how they shape their ideas and how they carry themselves in the eyes of many. A good communicator will appear confident and reliable. Thus, a good communicator will form a positive image on himself. Personally, like everyone elses, I hope that I could give a good first impression through my communication skills.

On inter-personal level, communication is important because as the saying goes, "Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men" - Confucius. In order to build good relationships with other people, we have to be a good and effective communicator. Likewise, this is especially important for me because I like to meet and interact with people.

Families being the smallest and strongest unit of society play important role in shaping the society. Thus, effective communications between family members strengthen family ties and strengthen the society as a whole. Thus, the power of communication should never be underestimated.

Internationally, successful diplomacy can help to deter confrontations, which may result in wars and loss of innocent lives. The need of diplomats to negotiate and to find a mutually acceptable solution undermines the importance of effective communication between nations.

edited